I was working with a client, an entrepreneur who had built her business from the ground up. She was a visionary, but she was also stuck. She'd spend three hours wordsmithing a single "important" email, terrified of a typo or a misplaced comma. She'd delay …
We've named the cage: the perfectionism, the weathering, the toxic overperformance. Now, how do we find the key to unlock it? The healing journey starts with a revolutionary act for Black women: radical self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the direct antidote to …
A client of mine, a celebrated artist, once told me she felt like a "Community Vending Machine." Family, friends, and mentees would come to her for advice, support, and energy, and she always delivered. She said "yes" to every request, believing it was her duty. …
When the Shield Becomes a Cage
We’ve explored how perfectionism is a survival strategy and how it physically harms us through "weathering." But how does it impact our daily lives and interactions? The very shield that was meant to protect us can become a cage.
I …
I once had a client, a fierce advocate for social justice, describe a typical afternoon to me. She was on a tense conference call, feeling her shoulders creep up toward her ears and a familiar tightness spreading across her chest. Her smartwatch buzzed—a reminder …
In our last post, we introduced perfectionism as a survival strategy rooted in the Strong Black Woman schema. We perform strength to protect ourselves, but what is that performance doing to our health?
They say, “Black don’t crack,” a testament to our enduring …
I remember sitting with a new client, a brilliant Black woman who had just shattered another glass ceiling in her tech career. She came to me with a color-coded planner that would make a project manager weep with joy. Every 15-minute increment was optimized. She …
I remember a few years back, saying to a client that perfection was not an attainable or reasonable goal, only to notice that my own inner voice (you know, that somebody on the bus) responded with, “But not you, Burgandy—You must be perfect.”
I was caught in a …
Imagine your self-concept as a picturesque beach, where the shoreline represents your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. In this metaphor, self-worth is the stable, unchanging foundation of the beach, while self-esteem is like the tide, rising and falling with …
Part I: "This Fourth of July is Yours, Not Mine"
Have you read or heard the reenactment of Frederick Douglass’s 1852 oration, “What to the Slave Is the Fourth of July?”
What it is?
Lies not only in its searing moral clarity but also in its sophisticated …
At Be True Counseling and Consulting, we’re passionate about fostering work cultures that are not just productive, but also inspired, engaged, and deeply honest. But what happens when we turn that lens inward? What does it look like for our own team to "Be True"?
Have you ever had a dream where you’re running a race? You’re pushing, your lungs are burning, your legs are screaming, but you keep going because you have to win. You finally cross the finish line, gasping, only to realize… no one is there. The crowd is gone. …
When I was young, I couldn't figure out how to be queer. I was deep in people-pleasing, so much so that I just assumed I was hetero. When I had feelings about girls, it left me confused. I grew up in the Baptist church, where the message from the pulpit was …
The Anchor: A Story That Hooks
Have you ever found yourself in the greeting card aisle around the second week of June, feeling like you’re staring at a wall of inside jokes you were never let in on? The cards are full of praise for “The World’s Greatest Dad,” …
It started on a whim. My then-boyfriend and I were exploring Mt. Airy, drawn in by the promise of a new flatbread and brewery. As we climbed the steps, we walked into an atmosphere that was electric, not just with weekend chatter, but with a palpable sense of …
Hello, Friends! Over the past month, we've journeyed through the landscape of attachment theory, mapping the four primary styles: Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized). We've explored how these patterns develop and …
Welcome to June, a month that arrives on the heels of spring’s full bloom, ushering in the promise of longer days and, often, a societal nudge towards lightness and celebration. Here at Be True Counseling, we're embracing that spirit with our June collection …
Welcome back to our series on attachment styles. I'm Burgandy Holiday, LCSW, from Be True Counseling. So far, we've discussed the origins of attachment theory, how our relational blueprints are built, and explored the Secure and Anxious-Preoccupied patterns.
This …
In the past two weeks, we've explored the foundations of attachment theory – how our internal drive for connection and early experiences with caregivers build an internal "blueprint" or "working model" that shapes our adult relationships.
This week, we begin …
Welcome back. I'm Burgandy Holiday, LCSW, from Be True Counseling. Last week, we introduced the concept of attachment theory – the idea that our earliest bonds form a relational blueprint influencing our connections throughout life. We touched upon the human …
Hello, I'm Burgandy Holiday, LCSW, Owner and Clinician here at Be True Counseling. In our work together, and in our own lives, we often encounter recurring themes in our relationships. Why do we react with that familiar surge of anxiety when a partner pulls away? …
Over the past few days, we've explored the meaning of "No Contact" (NC), the reasons behind it, and the specific challenges of navigating Mother's Day when estranged. Today, we focus on the power of honoring your truth, the critical role of culturally competent …
We've discussed what "No Contact" (NC) means and the difficult reasons one might choose this path. Today, as Mother's Day approaches, we turn to the unique challenges of navigating this holiday when you are NC with your mother or a maternal figure.
For those who …
Yesterday, we defined "No Contact" (NC) as a deliberate and complete cessation of communication with a mother or maternal figure, undertaken as an act of self-preservation. Today, we explore the profound reasons why someone, particularly a Woman of Color (WOC) in …
Understanding the Path of "No Contact"
Mother's Day often brings a wave of idealized family images, but for many, especially Women of Color (WOC) in leadership navigating complex family histories alongside systemic societal pressures, the holiday can be far from …
Hi again, it's Burgandy from Be True Counseling in Philadelphia. We've talked about what overwhelm feels like and how it can really take a toll on us. But here's the liberating truth I've come to understand: managing stress isn't a luxury; it's the key to …
Welcome back, it's Burgandy from Be True Counseling in Philly. Last time, we talked about that all-too-familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and overbooked. Today, I want to dive deeper into what happens when we stay in that state for too long. It's not just …
Meta Description: Feeling constantly behind? Burgandy Holiday from Be True Counseling in Philadelphia helps you identify the signs of being overwhelmed and overbooked. Recognize the cycle and know you're not alone.
Hey there, it's Burgandy from Be True Counseling …
Meta Description: Today, April 1st, we wear teal for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Burgandy Holiday, LCSW, of Be True Counseling, emphasizes how education and awareness are the cornerstones of preventing sexual assault and introduces the NSVRC's 2025 PSA.
Today,…
#trauma #therapy #mentalhealth #PTSD #recovery
Trauma can be a deeply unsettling experience, leaving lasting scars on our emotional and psychological well-being. While many individuals possess remarkable resilience, the effects of trauma can linger, hindering …
At the time of writing, the world was reeling from the re-election of "DT" as President of USA. In the wake of recent political and social upheavals, many expressed a sense of powerlessness and despair. However, it's crucial to remember that we possess the …
Meta Description: Experiencing post-election stress? Discover evidence-backed methods to manage political disappointment, avoid personalizing outcomes, and reframe perspectives. With insights and practical tools from Be True Counseling, find ways to regain …
At Be True Counseling, we understand how confusing and overwhelming emotional triggers can be. They can lead to unexpected outbursts, leaving you feeling frustrated and out of control. But there's hope! By learning to identify your triggers and develop healthy …
Meta Description: Discover the science behind habit formation and learn how to build positive habits and break negative ones with Atomic Habits. This comprehensive guide explores James Clear's Four Laws of Behavior Change and offers practical strategies for …
We all know journaling can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and reflection. But did you know it can also be a game-changer for cultivating positive self-talk? By training your mind to be benignly present with your thoughts, journaling can help quiet the …
We live in a world saturated with electronic communication. Texts, emails, and social media messages ping our devices incessantly, creating a constant pressure to stay connected. However, this very technology can harbor a hidden pitfall: the "distracted …
Today, we're going to delve into a topic crucial for understanding ourselves and the journeys we take: the long-term effects of trauma. While not exactly recent news, a study published in 2010, that continues to be referenced in an array of contexts explored how …
Do you ever look at your overflowing to-do list and feel a wave of panic? You're not alone! In today's fast-paced world, managing time effectively can be a constant struggle. But what if there was a way to take control of your schedule, delegate tasks …
Posted May 9, 2024
As Mother's Day approaches, many of us are preparing to celebrate the wonderful mothers in our lives. However, for those who have recently lost a parent, this occasion can be a poignant reminder of their absence. Coping with the loss of a …
Meta Description: Feeling overwhelmed, isolated, or down after becoming a mom? Learn about postpartum depression, its causes, and effective strategies for coping. Discover the benefits of medication, mindfulness, and building a strong support system.
Keywords: …
Posted May 7, 2024
In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, moments of clarity often emerge unexpectedly, shedding light on aspects of our lives previously veiled in ambiguity. Recently, I experienced one such moment of revelation, delving into the …
Posted May 8, 2024
Imagine yourself behind the wheel of a car, cruising down a bustling highway—the ultimate metaphor for life's journey. In this analogy, the car you're driving represents what you truly have control over, while the lanes symbolize the areas …
Brain Dumping is a powerful tool for managing overwhelming emotions, negative thought patterns, and improving mental wellness. In this guide, we'll walk through the Be True Process, designed to help you navigate through challenging moments and …
Posted May 1, 2024
WHAT IS GROUNDING?
Grounding is a set of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain (for example, drug cravings, self-harm impulses, anger, sadness). Distraction works by focusing outward on the external world-rather than inward toward the …
Posted on May 20th, 2022
If constant stress has you feeling helpless, disillusioned, and completely exhausted, you may be on the road to burnout. Learn what you can do to regain your balance and feel positive and hopeful again.
What is burnout?
Burnout is a state …
Posted on May 17th, 2022
Hello, there! And thank you for visiting my new blog!
Here at Be True Counseling and Consulting, I believe in providing my customers with only the best mental health, coaching, and education services. In order to help even more people, I …
Have questions about therapy with Be True Counseling? Perhaps you'll find the answer below:
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What are your hours of operation? I offer sessions from 9:00 AM to 2:00 PM, Tuesday through Friday.
2. How can I schedule a session? Easily …
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