In our last conversation, we did the work of turning on the lights. We exposed the old, rigid rules that shame uses to keep us playing small—rules handed down by systems that were never designed for our success. Now that we’ve identified these tools of oppression, the real work begins. The question is no longer, “What are the rules?” but rather, “What’s my new rule?”
Well, my new rule is this: We don’t do oppressive systems. We don’t do perfection. My new rule is: I do not abide by sociocultural norms that are in place to oppress me.
This is the heart of the Be True Crown Straightening Approach. It’s not enough to simply identify the old framework; you must consciously and deliberately build a new one. This new framework is built on a single, powerful principle: the unwavering commitment to your authentic Self—spelled capital S, capital E, capital L, capital F.
What is oppression in this context? It’s anything that does not allow you to be. It’s any system, any expectation, any internalized rule that prevents you from showing up as your authentic Self. When you decide that it is not just okay, but essential to be who you are, as you are, that decision becomes your new North Star. It becomes the primary rule that overrides all the old ones.
When you make authenticity your primary rule, you start to ask, "How does this old rule fit with my new one?" This radical act of self-love is deeply connected to the power of vulnerability, which Brené Brown describes as the “birthplace of innovation, creation, and change.” It's a declaration that you love yourself and you want yourself, so you’re not going to hide yourself anymore.
I want you to think about it like this: this is your self-emancipation.
When slavery becomes outlawed, that means there’s a whole slew of things that can no longer happen, right? So, if I am emancipating myself from my enslavement to sociocultural norms that were put in place to keep me in a position of subjugation, then those old rules just have to melt away. The entire contract has been rewritten.
This requires connecting with the parts of you that have been silenced by shame. Using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens, we can see the parts of us that took on the role of enforcer to keep us safe. The inner critic, the perfectionist—these parts aren't your enemies. They are protectors who learned to enforce the old rules to prevent you from being rejected or harmed. The work is to connect with your core Self and let those parts know a new, more loving leader is in charge now.
This is your emancipation. And it changes everything.
Rewriting the fundamental rules you live by is a revolutionary act, and you don’t have to lead a revolution alone. If you’re ready to emancipate yourself from the systems that no longer serve you, we are here to help you navigate the path forward.
Book a Consultation with Be True Counseling: https://bit.ly/15min-consultation-call.
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