The Holiday Hangover: Why You Feel Like You Got Hit by a Truck

The Bill is Due

The wrapping paper is in the trash. The leftovers are packed away. The family has finally gone home. The house is quiet.

So... why do you feel like you just ran a marathon in heels? Why do you feel sad, empty, or just completely drained?

We talk a lot about the stress during the holidays, but we rarely talk about the crash after. For you—the high-achieving woman who holds everything together—this is the hardest part.

You regulated the energy in the room. You dodged the passive-aggressive comments. You made sure everyone else had a magical time. You ran on adrenaline for weeks, and now that the guests are gone, the bill is due.

The Adrenaline Crash

Let’s normalize this feeling: We can call it the Holiday Hangover.

For the last month, your body has been running on high cortisol (stress hormones) to get through the travel, the cooking, and the family dynamics. Now that it stopped, your body is in withdrawal.

But there is something else happening, too: Grief.

We often grieve the holiday we wished we had, versus the one we actually got. We grieve the fantasy of the "Perfect Hallmark Family." When the reality doesn't match the commercial, it hurts.

Give yourself permission to rot on the couch today. You cannot drive a parked car, and you cannot start a New Year running on fumes.

What Wrecked You?

Before you try to "fix" yourself, let's look at the damage. Be honest with these three questions:

1. What was the exact moment you wanted to scream? Was it a comment? A refusal to help with dishes? Pinpoint the moment.
2. Did you mourn the fantasy? Did you go into the holiday hoping your family would suddenly act differently than they have for the last 20 years?
3. How long has the recovery taken? Is it one day of rest, or are you still angry three days later?

Review the Game Tape

In sports, after a big game (win or lose), the team watches the footage. They don't sit there and cry about it; they analyze it. They look for data.

To truly reset, I want you to Review the Game Tape of your holiday.

1. Spot the Triggers

Did you lose your cool when your aunt mentioned your job? Good. That trigger is a teacher. It tells you exactly where your armor has a crack. That is where you need a boundary next year.

2. Check the Seating Chart (The Circles)

Think back to the Social Galaxy Map we talked about in the last post. Did you let a "Level 6" toxic relative get close enough to hurt your feelings like a "Level 3" partner? If someone in your "Safe Circle" acted unsafe, they just demoted themselves.

3. Write the New Rule

Take the data and update your operating manual.

• Old Way: "I stay at my parents' house for 5 days because I feel guilty."
• New Rule: "Based on the tape, I lose my patience after 48 hours. Next year, we book a hotel for days 3 and 4."

Protect Future You

Don't just "get over it." Grow from it.

If this holiday was a 10/10 on the stress scale, look at next year's calendar right now. Book your recovery days. If Mother’s Day is usually a nightmare, request the day after off work today.

Get The Post-Game Analysis Tool

It’s hard to see the patterns when you are in the middle of the crash. We created a visual "Review the Tape" Worksheet to help you break down exactly what happened and plan your New Rules.

Get the Worksheet here.

Head over to the Resources Section of our website or check our Social Media profiles to see the worksheet. Download it, fill it out, and turn your "Holiday Hangover" into a game plan for next year.

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