The Power of Boundaries: Protecting Your Peace Is a Revolutionary Act

Last time, we talked about self-compassion as the internal work of healing from perfectionism. The external work is learning to set courageous boundaries.

Boundaries are not about being difficult or pushing people away. For Black women especially, setting boundaries is a vital act of self-preservation. It is about protecting your peace, your energy, and your well-being in a world that often assumes your resources are endlessly available.

Let's be real: many of us fear that setting a boundary will get us labeled with the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype. We must reframe this. Setting a boundary is a sign of profound self-respect and emotional intelligence, not anger. It is you teaching others how to honor you.

Here’s an exercise to help you communicate your boundaries without confrontation, using "I" statements to keep the focus on your feelings and needs:

Practice Your "I" Statements

• To address a behavior: "I feel _______ when _______, and I need _______."
• Example: "I feel overwhelmed when I'm asked to take on extra work at the end of the day. I need requests like this to come before 3 PM so I can plan accordingly."
• To decline a request: "I'm not able to _______ right now, but I can _______."
• Example: "I'm not able to chair that committee right now, but I can attend the meetings as a member to offer support."

When you set a boundary, you are rebelling against the external expectation that your time and energy are not your own. This is how we begin to heal the weathering. This is how we get free.

In our final post, we’ll bring it all together and talk about how to walk forward in this new-found freedom.

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